The Things We All Carry

Hospice Nurse Julie - CA

Welcome to Episode 104 of "The Things We All Carry," where we embark on a poignant exploration of hospice care, end-of-life transitions, and the invaluable guidance provided by our guest, Julie McFadden, famously known as Hospice Nurse Julie.
In this deeply personal episode, the host reflects on a pivotal moment during his mother's end-of-life journey, where Julie's expertise provided clarity and comfort amidst the emotional turbulence of impending loss. Julie's social media presence, boasting a vast following across platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, serves as a beacon of support for individuals grappling with the complexities of death and dying.
With a wealth of experience spanning over 16 years in nursing, including significant stints in the ICU and hospice settings, Julie's insights are not only informed by professional expertise but also steeped in compassion and empathy. Her recent book, "Nothing to Fear," epitomizes her mission to demystify the end-of-life process, offering solace and guidance to those navigating the intricate terrain of caregiving and bereavement.
Throughout the episode, Julie shares invaluable advice on recognizing the signs of terminal decline, understanding agonal breathing, and fostering an environment of dignity and comfort for both patients and their loved ones. Her emphasis on empowerment through knowledge resonates deeply, serving as a guiding light for families facing difficult decisions and profound loss.
Moreover, the conversation extends beyond the realm of hospice care, delving into the crucial role of first responders in supporting families during moments of crisis. Julie's insights illuminate the importance of compassionate communication and holistic care, bridging the gap between medical professionals and those in need of support.
Episode 104 stands as a testament to the power of vulnerability, education, and human connection in navigating life's most profound moments. As listeners embark on this heartfelt journey, they are invited to embrace the wisdom and compassion embodied by Julie McFadden, a beacon of hope in the face of life's greatest challenges.

Mark B - OH

Welcome to Episode 103 of "The Things We All Carry." In this installment, we delve into a personal journey intertwined with friendship, resilience, and the profound impact of life's experiences.
The episode opens with a nostalgic reflection on camaraderie as the host recounts cherished memories of concert escapades with a close friend, Mark. Their shared adventures traversing cities, attending shows, and bonding over drinks or dinners exemplify the essence of friendship.
Mark emerges as a remarkable individual—a beacon of authenticity in a world often defined by conformity. Having transitioned from Ohio to Virginia and back again, his journey unfolds against the backdrop of a distinguished career as a firefighter-medic spanning over a decade in Prince William County.
However, Mark's story is more than a testament to professional dedication; it's a testament to resilience in the face of adversity. From surviving a traumatic childhood incident that left him with severe burns to navigating the complexities of life, Mark's journey is marked by triumphs and tribulations alike.
The episode transcends mere dialogue; it's a heartfelt conversation between old friends, characterized by candor and vulnerability. Mark's return to the East Coast serves as a catalyst for reflection, offering profound insights into the transformative power of shared experiences.
As Mark contemplates reentering the fire service, his passion for the profession is palpable. Armed with a wealth of experience and a fervent desire to mentor the next generation, he embodies the spirit of service and dedication that defines the firefighting community.
Ultimately, Episode 103 encapsulates the essence of "The Things We All Carry"—a poignant reminder that our burdens, triumphs, and connections shape the tapestry of our lives. Through laughter, introspection, and shared experiences, this episode resonates as both informative and entertaining, inviting listeners on a journey of discovery and camaraderie.

Stephen S - TX

Welcome to Episode 102 of "The Things We All Carry." In this installment, the host engages in a captivating conversation with Stephen Sims, a seasoned firefighter with a unique life story. Known as TXsickboy on Instagram or unklesims on Instagram, Stephen his journey through the fire service since 2007.
Stephen currently serving as the ladder chauffeur at station 55 in Houston, opens up about a profound experience with a double LODD (Line of Duty Death) in 2009, which significantly impacted him. He candidly describes a period where he, in his own words, "became an asshole," and how this became a catalyst for his ongoing quest to become a better human, husband, and father.
A self-proclaimed "vagabond" from the start, Stephen's life took him from Mississippi to Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, and eventually Texas. The episode delves into his diverse background, including a stint in the Navy, highlighting the value of exploring foreign cultures and broadening one's perspective beyond borders.
Described by his wife as the "village people of careers," Stephen has worn many hats throughout his life. From his creative pursuits in music, art, writing, and woodworking to embracing a punk rock retirement plan with his wife since the "1900s", Stephen's multifaceted personality makes for a compelling conversation.
The episode offers listeners a chance to hear about Stephen's unique take on life in the fire service and his commitment to personal growth. Despite the challenges he faced, Stephen is actively involved in advocating for his children, who are on the autism spectrum. This episode is just the beginning of a two-part series, with Stephen returning in a later episode to discuss ADHD and parenting.
Join the host and Stephen Sims for a thought-provoking and insightful conversation that touches on life, resilience, creativity, and the pursuit of a better self. Episode 102 is not just a podcast; it's a glimpse into the diverse and inspiring stories we all carry.

Destiny - On Being Resilient - Returns

Welcome to Episode 101 of "The Things We All Carry." Today, we're diving into a crucial aspect of our lives—one that many of us carry but often find challenging to explore. I'm thrilled to welcome back Destiny Morris, a licensed marriage and family therapist from California, specializing in the unique challenges faced by first responders, their spouses, and relationships.
In her practice, Destiny offers individual sessions and facilitates a group for first responder spouses, delving into the complexities of life in a way that only someone with her expertise can. In a previous episode (Episode 79, aired on August 24th of last year), we explored topics like hypervigilance, the impact on relationships, and how the life of a first responder ripples through various aspects like interpersonal connections, family planning, and communication.
In this episode, Destiny and I delve into hypervigilance once more, touching on her spouse group and extending our conversation to include family members of first responders. Additionally, we discuss what one can expect when entering therapy, exploring the dynamics, expectations, and the sometimes-sensitive decision of when and how to step back from therapy.
Destiny shares insights into when therapy becomes a valuable ongoing support and when it might transition into a maintenance phase. It's a unique perspective on how therapy evolves and adapts to an individual's needs over time.
I want to express my gratitude to each one of you for your continued support. Your feedback, suggestions, and personal stories are invaluable. Please reach out to me on Instagram or via email at stack@thethingsweallcarry.com or mystory@thethingsweallcarry.com.
Stay tuned for Destiny Morris in Episode 101, and as always, take a moment for yourself. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.
 
 
 

Ben Vernon - CA

Welcome to a milestone episode, folks! This is Episode 100 of "The Things We All Carry." Today, we have an incredibly special guest with us, none other than Ben Vernon, a Fire Captain hailing from the heart of San Diego. Ben's journey is nothing short of remarkable; he's devoted nearly two decades to the fire service, experiencing both the world of career firefighting and volunteer work.
In this gripping episode, Ben shares his story of transformation – from a young individual unsure of his path to a seasoned public speaker, renowned for an incident that occurred eight years ago. A routine medical call took a shocking turn when Ben found himself in an altercation with a bystander. In a matter of seconds, he and his crew faced a life-threatening attack, leaving Ben and a co-worker stabbed.
The narrative unfolds as Ben walks us through the harrowing details of the incident, the aftermath, and the emotional rollercoaster that followed. From being a first responder to becoming a patient himself, Ben takes us on a journey through the physical and emotional recovery process, offering profound insights into resilience and the human spirit.
This episode is not just another story; it's a testament to the strength of the human will. Ben's candid reflections on the mistakes made and the subsequent attempt on his life make for a truly fascinating and thought-provoking tale. Despite the challenges, Ben and his crew member survived, and today, he stands before us, a dedicated public speaker traveling the world, advocating for mental health and sharing his inspiring story.
As we delve into this gripping narrative, we're reminded of the increasing instances of violence against first responders. Ben's experience serves as a powerful reminder to stay vigilant on every call, as you never know what challenges might arise.
So, without further ado, let's dive into Episode 100 with Ben Vernon. Sit back, absorb the resilience, and share your thoughts. And as we close this chapter at 100, get ready for more incredible stories to come in Episode 101 next week. Enjoy the show!

Chris B - VA Leashes of Valor

Episode 99 iwith Chris Bowers…Director of Programs withLeashes of Valor.
Leashes of Valor is a non-profit in Fredericksburg, Virginia that trains service dogs for post-9/11 veterans. These highly trained dogs help veterans who have experienced PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury, or Military Sexual Trauma. 
Chris joined the show to share his story and give us the background about the organization.
You can learn more about their staff, their mission, and how to donate leashesofvalor.org/.

Diane C - MA Reissue

In the first episode of the new year, "The Things We All Carry" revisits an impactful conversation with Diane Cotter, a name that resonates strongly within the firefighting community. The host pays tribute to Diane's unwavering dedication and resilience in the face of adversity, as she fought for awareness and change after her husband's cancer diagnosis linked to firefighting gear.
Diane's relentless battle against PFAS-infested gear, a substance with devastating effects on the body, is explored in this reissued episode. The host emphasizes Diane's heroism, acknowledging her triumph over powerful opponents, including political figures and union representatives more interested in personal gain than firefighter well-being.
Originally episode 61, this re-release serves as a tribute to Diane's courage and commitment. The host reflects on the past year, expressing gratitude for the audience's support and hinting at exciting developments in the coming year. Taking a break to clear thoughts and recharge, the host encourages listeners to embrace self-reflection and growth in the new year.
As the episode concludes, the host teases upcoming shows, promising intriguing content and urging the audience to continue supporting the podcast by sharing, liking, and spreading the word. The episode encapsulates a mix of gratitude, reflection, and anticipation, setting the tone for an engaging year ahead.

Marshall (Reissue)

In this episode of "The Things We All Carry," Stack reflects on the aftermath of Christmas and the emotions that come with it. Sharing personal experiences, Stackdiscusses the blend of anticipation and letdown that often accompanies the holiday season.
Keeping the introduction short due to a recovering voice, Stack reintroduces Marshall, a newly promoted fire captain and a colleague with a unique journey in the fire service. Marshall, a cancer survivor diagnosed at age 19, shares his remarkable story of overcoming aggressive cancer and the subsequent challenge of rediscovering life. The conversation delves into Marshall's survivor's guilt, a constant battle with the fear of cancer recurrence, and the emotional toll of living with uncertainty.
Marshall's experiences in the fire service unfold, including the tragic suicide of a crew member named Marcello. Marshall candidly discusses the impact of suicide on the crew and his personal coping mechanisms. The episode further explores Marshall's family life, addressing his son's struggles with ADHD and the adjustments made within the family to provide necessary support and care.
Throughout the conversation, Marshall emphasizes the importance of therapy in addressing untreated issues stemming from his experiences in the fire service, cancer diagnosis, and family challenges. The episode offers a compelling and open dialogue on the complexities of life, mental health, and resilience within the context of a demanding profession.
Originally released as episode seven, this reissue provides a poignant and insightful glimpse into Marshall's journey, highlighting themes of survival, resilience, and the ongoing pursuit of mental well-being.

Tyler (WI)

This week's episode is from the vault. I'm re releasing episode 37. Tyler is from Wisconsin, he is a firefighter for 18 years and 12 of those he's been in EMS  Tyler is currently a paramedic and a captain in his department.
He has one of those stories where the personal is intertwined with the professional. He was married, he was divorced, and then tragedy struck. He shares his story of not only that tragedy, but what he did to overcome the tragedy, and how he's moved forward, and where he is today.  As I said in my initial write up or intro for this show,  it focuses on his life, that fateful day, his recovery, and his message to anyone fighting their own demons.

Bobby - NC

Bobby is out of Raleigh, North Carolina. He joined the fire service as a  part of the junior program in 2008. He turned 18 and he was hired as a career firefighter. He is what you would call your prototypical black cloud. Any, as he said, any fucked up call in the department has happened when he's been on shift.  He's had  numerous traumatic calls. In 2018 he had a brush with death He brushes it off as I spent some time in the hospital kind of thing but he  came close to damn near dying.
Between constant work,full time firefighting, part time firefighting, chimney work, construction work, he left no time for family and it took a toll. Then he had this call that just tipped the scales and something snapped. He reached out for help after a suicide attempt. You'll hear in the show where that suicide attempt was and how he was found. He found this program called Shields and Stripes, and he spent a month out in Arizona with this program and he can't say enough good things about it.  They allowed him to find himself. They allowed him to find some of the root causes of what's going on. They allowed him to repair himself, repair his relationship with his family and start down a path of health and happiness basically.